GUEST AUTHOR: Sofia Martinez

In light of the surgeon general’s recent report connecting the increase in use of social media and mental health issues, we at RelationalLearning wanted to explore our own ideas about how to address this pervasive issue. Namely, we hope to reframe the conversation from “What should we do about social media?” to “What should we make sure we do not miss, as we know we are all spending so much of our time online?”.

For many years now there has been an ongoing dialogue about the influence and implications surrounding Social Media. Social Media has become so regularly and widely used in society that, according to the Surgeon General’s “Social Media and Youth Mental Health” Advisory, “Up to 95% of youth ages 13–17 report using a social media platform, with more than a third saying they use social media ‘almost constantly.’”

(Find this Advisory on our Articles Page)

Much of this Health Advisory focuses on correlative research, pointing at the negative effects of Social Media use on adolescent’s mental health. Correlative data, simply means that there is a noticeable relation between the amount of screen time/social media used and a decrease in the healthy minds of teens & children. None of this data can pinpoint social media as the direct cause of this overall decline.

An article posted just a few days ago on Axios.com, suggests that many aren’t fully satisfied with the most recent solution suggested by our U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. Doctor Murthy has suggested laws and regulations requiring a “tobacco style” warning to be placed on Social Media apps. Axios.com states that a wide range of the public feels as though this type of blanket resolution won’t help, and at the same time, misses the point. To get closer to the point, let us twist the Kaleidoscope and take a different, perhaps more positive view of the issue at hand.
Instead of discussing what could potentially be so harmful about social media, or approaching the problem by telling teens and parents what they should not do; why not talk about all of the things we could, and should be doing that support positive mental health and development for young people. Perhaps the question should not be “What should we do about social media?” and instead we should be asking “What should we make sure we do not miss, as we know we are all spending so much of our time online?”

The philosophy that we hold at the Center for RelationaLearning is that our connections and relationships provide the soil for all learing, joy, satisfaction and success. Prioritizing and attending to our relationships in all things is a way through the difficult questions that we all as a society have difficulty answering. It’s our belief and opinion that the “Real Mental Health Crisis” is not directly coming from the use of social media, but actually, from the lack of genuine, deep relationships and connections our young people have had the opportunity to make.

The Surgeon General, eludes to this possibility himself as he discusses known evidence gaps. He poses the question;
“How do in-person vs. digital social interactions differ in terms of the impact on health, and what are the unique contributions of social media behavior to social connectedness, social isolation, and mental health symptoms?”

The connection between social media use and mental health has been enhanced by the increasing isolation in society that has occurred by a number of factors of which social media is just one. It is known that most of us have reported greater and greater feelings of loneliness and isolation over time. This should feel contradictory, as our ability to reach one another has only increased with the development of the internet and the social apps in question. The issue is, the connections that we can find online in the social media space are not deep, real connections in the same way that a real-life peer relationship is.

Teens and adolescents are at an important developmental stage, where feedback from their peers means all that much more to them. They are searching for themselves and learning about the world through their interactions and connections with others. What they have likely never had the chance to realize is, those feelings of approval, and truly knowing their friends and connections will never come from an interaction on Instagram. Children and Teens today have just been through one of the most isolating events in our recent history. The Covid Pandemic only increased our isolating tendencies and also, increased most of our habits when it comes to screen time and social media usage.

For many teens, this has been their main avenue for social interaction as they moved from childhood into the next phase of their lives. It is our responsibility as adults, to give these teens & children the gift of knowing what it is to have a real-life, interactive relationship with other human beings. It is not their fault they have not had many opportunities to have these connections, or reflect on the different effects these kinds of connections have on their mental state.

If we are all intentional with the way we structure our children’s lives this summer, it should be a truly beautiful gift for us all to watch as they enjoy the deepening and growth of their relationships. Instead of being hard on yourself and your teen this summer by using language like “You shouldn’t be spending so much time on that phone.” or “You’re being restricted to one hour of social media a day”. Instead let’s join together on the same team and share with them things like, “Let’s go do something real with your friends from school today” and “I promise you these few hours we’ll be spending with our family are going to be so rewarding for us all.”

In fact, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy does suggest this approach in his Health Advisory:
“Consider keeping family mealtimes and in-person gatherings device-free to build social bonds and engage in a two-way conversation. Help your child develop social skills and nurture his or her in-person relationships by encouraging unstructured and offline connections with others and making unplugged interactions a daily priority.”

What a gift we will be giving the next generation, as well as ourselves, as we watch them discover the deep joy and satisfaction that comes from healthy in-person relationships with family and friends.

If you would like to read the entire Surgeon General Health Advisory, head to the articles page.
A recent article in Psychology Today (below) reinforces our perspective with research. It states that “Learning is interpersonal. The specific stimuli used to drive learning are secondary to the person delivering said stimuli.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202407/how-the-brain-learns-best

If this blog has got you thinking and excited to share your own ideas, reach out to us over email or on social media, we always love to hear from you.

https://www.axios.com/2024/06/19/social-media-warning-labels-surgeon-general
https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/05/23/surgeon-general-issues-new-advisory-about-effects-social-media-use-has-youth-mental-health.html