Here are my thoughts and feelings on the subject of human reproduction from a Relationship First perspective.

 Everyone is going to need to pay more attention to the thoughts & feelings of the essential and central beings in the reproductive relationship. That is the only way to resolve the issue.

Making abortion illegal, and not respecting the obvious right of humans to command their own bodies, creates an unmanageable relational situation. 

If any person decides, for whatever reason, that she must bear a child – that decision is based on all the relational factors in her life, and that is all well and good. However, not every woman has the relational support around them to make having a child possible, and that must also be okay. Truthfully, if a woman feels as though having a child will decrease the quality of her livelihood, then that would also be true for the baby she has decided she isn’t capable of caring for. Forced Motherhood is going to push so many more women into poverty and even homelessness. If the government doesn’t put in place a system to support these forced mothers, the issue will become unmanageable.

One of our RealionaLeadership members Jan Clifford has posted a quote from Dave Barnhart, a traditional Christian pastor that eloquently summarizes the relational context that has to inform this discussion;

“The unborn are a convenient group of people to advocate for. They never make demands of you; they are morally uncomplicated, unlike the incarcerated, addicted, or chronically poor; they don’t resent your condescension or complain that you are not politically correct; unlike widows, they don’t ask you to question patriarchy; unlike orphans, they don’t need money, education, or childcare; unlike aliens, they don’t bring all that racial, cultural, and religious baggage that you dislike; they allow you to feel good about yourself without any work at creating or maintaining relationships; and when they are born, you can forget about them, because they cease to be unborn. It’s almost as if, by being born, they have died to you. You can love the unborn and advocate for them without substantially challenging your wealth, power, or privilege, without re-imagining social structures, apologizing, or making reparations to anyone. they are, in short, the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus but actually dislike people who breathe.“

Isn’t it, therefore, ridiculous to suggest that the relationship between mother and child isn’t the critical factor in this debate? I hope we can bring a relationship-first approach to this issue together.